He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
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