I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize