all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
