fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
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