Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
cat food counts as protein by the way
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Randomize
