Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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