Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
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