I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
