Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Randomize
