we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Randomize
