i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
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