Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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