He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Randomize
