Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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