So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Randomize