The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize
