well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Randomize
