You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
