That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
