A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
