I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
