We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
