she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Randomize
