We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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