Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Randomize
