So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I'm sobbing to NWA
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
