My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
