Small penises have feelings too.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
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