He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Randomize
