I wannas sexs uuuuu
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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