i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
We need to feng shui this bitch.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
