I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
