it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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