Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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