i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Randomize
