I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
