I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
