Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
