Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
