You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
