It's just like the Real World with babies
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Randomize
