i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
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