Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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