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dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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