is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I don't deserve a penis
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
