I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Randomize
