Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
