i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
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can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
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And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?