I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
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