so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Fuck appropriateness.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
