You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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