so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
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