i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
