my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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