do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I could have mohawked her pubes.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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