we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize
