literally had 100 drinks last night.
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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