We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I'm bleeding and have questions
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize
