I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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