The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
