I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
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