So drunk its hurt
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
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i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
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I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
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