I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Screwed.edu
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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