omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
