And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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