if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Randomize
