i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
