found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Randomize
