anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
If its not for food we ain't going out.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
